Maxim's "95 Things To Do This Summer"

I wrote about half, so check em out in the July issue, out now!
(no byline, but that's because they're encouraging my secret undercover identity)

My favorites I did that amazingly made it in:

Aug 14 - If you're old, make today the day you don't die!
Aug 11 - Ride a whale and teach it to shun man.
Sept 7 - Make today Immigrant Labor Day and honor your hard-working green-carded friends by underpaying them.
July 11 - Outsource all your annoying friendships to India.

To read the rest, go buy the magazine, cheapskate!
Or use this link.