OK, Best Reagan headline yet, courtesy of The Onion

"Reagan's Body Dies."

In Case You Were Wondering, It Was Delicious

For those of you who still believe the governments of large nations don't bullshit most of the time:

(NY Times)

During a photo session after meeting with Bush, Chirac did not mention the dispute over Iraq or NATO, but spoke instead of how much he had enjoyed the G-8 summit, particularly the food.

``I can tell you that over the last few days, this cuisine here in America was certainly on a par with French cuisine,'' Chirac said.

``He particularly liked the cheeseburger he had yesterday,'' Bush said.

``It was excellent,'' Chirac said.

Who's the Third?

Celebrity deaths come in threes.

Ronald Reagan, Ray Charles.
Who's next?

Now Here's A National Tragedy

Ray Charles is dead at 73.

This is the saddest news all month.

I'm Not Really Sad That Reagan Died

There. I've said it.
Wasn't he already dead now, for years?

Why would people wait for hours to mourn him?

I see one remaining function of Reagan: he made it possible for (Bush)x(2) to be president.

So, congratulations. Good job.

24-Hour Theater Writing... Part Two

I'm writing another play overnight, to be done at Sacred Fools Theater, on Melrose and Heliotrope in Hollywood, CA, at 11 PM this Friday, June 11.
www.sacredfools.org

Come cheer on the madness!

My Bathroom Floor is Getting Funky

My lease is expiring on my apartment in soul-sucking UTC (I'd rather keep the acronym than give it the gift of a name). Thus I cannot bear to do anything about my bathroom floor.

There is some stain in the corner, a shadow of something that isn't a shadow at all. And dustballs, like little tumbleweeds, roll across the linoleum desert whenever I take a piss.

Clothing is also scattered. So be it.

My neighbors upstairs, the Crackhead Student Nazis, bang around every night around 1 am like epileptics without their padded clothes. I've tried going up and complaining, and am always intercepted by a duo of plain-faced college girls who front the operation with an apologetic dumb look. Their boyfriends, they shrug, and apologize again. Later on, back in the corner prefab square of my room, I hear occasional bellowing grunts drifting through the window on a breeze that smells like stale curry.

My next goal is to dump my garbage on their doorstep every morning around 4 am. Would this start a war? I must remember to remove any identifying documentation.

5 Breakfast Cereals I Wouldn't Eat

1. Clam Fudgey
2. Bran Nightmare, and Sparrows
3. Sparrow Crunch
4. Brain Nightmare, and Clams
5. Choco-Grandma

Time to Think About the Future

Today's dictate to you all is look forward.

Think about the future. Think about what comes next, I mean. The Next Big Thing. Look beyond our politics, our technology, our fads. See to the level beyond the next level. Be unafraid to take big leaps.

I think we've suffered lately in science fiction and good, inspiring (or frightening) visions of the future. It takes an eye on the present and an eye disregarding the present to accomplish that. We are moving forward very fast right now, but to just ride the wave is to do disservice to our role in shaping our future, not just being passengers to it.

So, today, dream. Dream about a new world, a strange place. Read something new. Be fascinated. And think big.

Big Brother Watch

"I think in these days of corporate fraud and in these days of terrorism we're seeing more and more reason to store forever," Kagan said. "Don't ever say anything on e-mail or text messaging that you don't want to come back and bite you."
Text Messages Used in Kobe Case
This should be updated, perhaps in a few years when all computers have ubiquitous always-on networked connections, to "Don't ever write anything on any computer that you don't want to come back and bite you."
Ah, what an innocent world we live in. To think, we actually believe that everything we say and do is evidence against us.
What room do we have for writing?
Privacy: Get ready to say bye-bye.