All these emails from strange names would make a great basis for characters in a play.

Mesolithic E. Mainlines has got to be a classic character. I see him in an Ignatius J. Reilly type of mold. What a weird world we live in! Mysterious missives from strangely-named characters urging you with aphoristic advice and trying to sell you "cheap meds."

If someone tried to argue that we weren't living a science-fiction life straight out of Philip K. Dick, I think this convinces otherwise.

If I win the Pulitzer Prize based on these characters, I'd like to thank Spam.